Dear Gracelyn
Moving out is going to be hard. Yes, it’s going to be difficult to say goodbye to my friends and professors, but I’m most worried about how much I’m going to have to pack. I live in Alpha and have more stuff in my room than I originally thought. I live on the third floor and I’m the last in my suite to move out. I don’t have a car and my parents have a small mini Cooper, so there’s nowhere for me to fit all of my belongings. I have a couch I have to bring home too. How am I supposed to get everything out of my room, much less into my car?! Gracelyn, I need your help!
-MovingOut
Dear MovingOut,
I think that all of us understand how difficult moving out is. I assume you are a freshman and not yet familiar with the typical moving day protocol.
Because you have such a small car to fit all of your belongings in to, it may prove impossible to take everything home. But never fear: There is a dumpster positioned outside of Alpha Hall every year for some of your unnecessary belongings and trash. For one week, they will allow you to throw all of your unwanted belongings out of your window into the dumpster! This way, you do not have to walk down endless flights of stairs or try to throw heavy things away with dainty arms. Oversized sofa? Chuck it out the window! Damaged desk? Throw it from the window! Annoying roommate? Throw her mattress out the window!
Once you’ve rid yourself of unwanted items, you can then begin strategizing to pack items you really need to bring home. After you have packed, you can leave the rest of your stuff in your room. Your RA might give you a hard time and tell you that you are not permitted to leave anything behind, but this is not true—in fact, this is the best kept secret at Grace! If your RA is being irrationally difficult, just hide all of your belongings in the dropdown ceiling tiles. No one will ever know.
Finally, in order to prepare to pack your small vehicle to leave, play several games of Tetris a day. Playing frequent games of Tetris is vital to your daily routine; in other words, instead of studying for finals, you should study for the adventure of packing that both you and your parents will encounter. After all, what’s more important? Getting good grades on a core class or maintaining a good relationship with your parents?
If all else fails, simply split up all of your belongings and move them into the rooms of your hall mates who have not moved out yet.
If you follow my advice, moving day will go well for you and you will have a wonderful
