Spiritual Leadership in Marriage

by Justin Perry

Over 10 years ago, I met the love of my life, Allison Noble. We didn’t know it at the time. We had seen each other quite a bit over the course of those ten years, so we had always known about each other.   We started talking the day I moved into Grace in August 2016. I asked for her number that night and we’ve been with each other since.

Allison and I started dating September 25, 2016, and we instantly knew that we were going to spend the rest of our lives with each other. I proposed to my best friend on May 25, 2017 and Allison and I have a date set for December 1, 2018. Because we have a wedding date set, I wanted to start focusing on the marriage. And I have been for a long time. A good place to start was learning about and becoming the spiritual leader.

I am writing this to the men that, in God’s will, are getting married. But ladies, don’t stop reading or get discouraged reading this. Anyone can learn from this. I’ve spent a lot of time reading and studying about spiritual leadership. To the men, God called us to be the spiritual leaders in the home. He called us to love our wives as Christ loved the church. And if you ask me, that’s a beautiful example of how we should love.

In this I want to show men how we can lead:

  1.     Lead by loving. Love is the core principle that should govern what you say and do. If you love, you have everything. Lead your wife and family with the tenderness of love.
  2.     Lead by initiating. Men, in our relationships, we need to be the initiator or the one who begins something. In our marriage and relationships with your family, what do you need to initiate? Prayer, devotions, conversations, problem solving. Initiate the opportunity to spend time with your future wife. The leadership that you have in your home will cause your wife and children to respect you and love you.
  3.     Lead by your management. Have FULL knowledge of what happens in your home at all times. Whether it be spiritually, financially, whatever. Oversee the discipline of your children, if you choose to have children. And in managing your home, make sure all the practical things are done.
  4.     Lead by example. Your wife will look up to you, your children will look up to you. Have and show godliness in everything you do.
  5.     Lead spiritually. Be spiritually committed. So many times we see families where the men are not leading spiritually. This is just hurting the family. One way we can lead spiritually as men, and as women, too, is show and tell what God has done for you to your spouse and/or kids.
  6.     Lead morally. Read this and don’t take this lightly: the Word of God MUST be the foundation of EVERY moral decision you make in your home. Pray for guidance.
  7.     Lead by reconciliation. Ouch… sometimes this is hard. After an argument, reconcile with your wife or your kids. Jesus reconciles with us. The times we spit in his face and let Him down, He chooses to reconcile with us because He loves us.
  8.     Lead by your service. Serve others, serve your wife. When we serve others, our wife, we are serving Christ. There will be times when you come home after work. You may have worked all day. But if you come home and don’t serve, whether it’s help with the kids or clean, then you have failed as a leader.

Men, God has called us to a high standard. If we want to lead our families like God wants us to, we will dig into His word and lead our families in more ways than one. Let this be a challenge to you.