Please Don’t Sit in My (Unassigned) Assigned Seat.

by Lydia Gard

You know what I’m talking about: That feeling when you walk into class, church or chapel, and some jerk has plopped himself or herself in your unassigned but definitely assigned seat. This forces you to wander around attempting to find a new spot that will undoubtedly pale in comparison with the comforts of your favorite old spot.  


You’re probably thinking of the seat you sat in both of the times one of your classes has met. Shouldn’t your classmates understand that at this point, you’ve clearly staked your claim on that spot for the remainder of class times?


Because the aforementioned student has taken your seat, you now find yourself in Billy’s assigned seat, so when he walks in, he rolls his eyes at you and has to steal Julie’s seat. Thus, the entire class ecosystem is thrown off, and the only hope of saving it is that you will get to class earlier next time and claim your rightful spot.


Class is complicated enough, but the phenomena is even worse when it occurs in chapel.  Say you walk in a couple minutes late, because you needed coffee and the line at Jazzman’s was a little too long, and you find that some hooligans have parked themselves in the spot where you and your friends have sat for chapel every day since the last half of freshman year. Shouldn’t they know by now that you and your friends have basically claimed those seats as your own? Why do people insist on ignoring the clear assignment of that chapel spot?


Now you have to text your friends, “Someone took our spot. I’m sitting in section C instead” only to have them text you, “We’re actually in section G now. Come find us!” This stress could have been prevented if only no one had sat in your unassigned assigned seats. How frustrating!


Losing your assigned seat in class can be traumatic, and losing your assigned seat in chapel is incredibly annoying, but have you ever experienced the utter agony or witnessed the distraught state of someone in church whose unassigned assigned spot has been taken?


You sit in the far right seats of the third row of church every Sunday, but one day, a family decides to sit in that exact spot. What are they thinking? Do they not understand the rules of church, that once you’ve sat in a spot three weeks in a row, that spot is unofficially officially your assigned seat? That family has now set askew the whole seating arrangement of the church. I mean, how can you worship when you’re staring at the worship team from an entirely unfamiliar angle? Someone needs to explain the rules to these folks.


What’s funny about the frustration of losing your unassigned assigned seat is that no one experiencing this agony ever says anything to the offending party. Instead, we sulk and glower and expect the person in our seat to somehow feel our frustration and change his or her actions accordingly. Oh, the petty things humans get upset over, myself included!


That being said, the bottom line is this: You stay in your seat, and I’ll stay in mine. Let’s not disrupt the understood ecosystem of unassigned assigned seating any longer!