Grace College Institutes New Graduation Requirements
By Andrea Castillo
In a surprise press release on Monday, March 18, Grace College announced that the graduating class of 2023 will be the first class to face new graduation requirements. Starting during the 2019-2020 school year, freshmen will be required to complete several new core classes in addition to several other rule changes.
Among the new class requirements is Marriage Preparation 1010, a course that teaches students how to prepare for their significant other popping the question before senior year ends.
Also, “Ring by Spring” is no longer an unwritten rule. With this new requirement, freshmen are given four full years to search for their soulmate. Failure to meet this requirement may result in in the postponement of a student’s graduation indefinitely.
According to the release, Grace College is moving to increase marriage rates among Grace students in hopes that alumni will bear children who will be future Lancers. Ultimately, the goal is to prevent enrollment from dropping in future decades. Board members have agreed to help the initiative by converting Alpha Hall into married housing by tearing down the wall between suites, effectively doubling the size of each dorm room.
The release goes on to state some of the many reasons why Alpha would be perfect for newlyweds. The stark-white cinderblock walls radiate homely vibes and the tiled ceiling provides easy storage. Alpha Dining Hall could easily be converted into a married-only grocery store for wives to go shopping without having to leave the married community.
Couples that enter Grace College already married are guaranteed housing in Alpha and will not have to complete courses that cover the basics of marriage. Grace College says that is thrilled to expand its married community and to encourage students to get out there and search for that special someone to complete them.
Image above: The Alpha Bell sits dormant in the chilled early Spring, but before long its long-spun hinges will need to be greased again as it incessantly rings throughout the upcoming warm events.